J U S T I N J O S L I N

Ace of Spades

I started writing songs when I was young. My best friend Jason and I would sit in his bedroom listening to Bush and changing the lyrics to their songs... making them youth group friendly. We thought that was pretty cool for a while... until one day when we learned how to play "power chords" on the guitar. Power chords were awesome. We started writing our own songs... terrible songs... but songs none the less.

In Jason's bedroom, we wrote songs about life as we saw it... which was pretty limited; skateboards, middle school girlfriends, and cool shoes. As time rolled on, I continued to write about life as I saw it... sometimes my view was idealistic, sometimes it was holier than thou, sometimes it was hopeful, sometimes it was broken, sometimes it was cynical, sometimes it was rebellious.  As I get older, I struggle to find the balance between the idealism of my teenage years and the cynicism of my 20's. I struggle to figure out what I want to say, now that I've actually experienced a few things in life. But the more I search for my message... the more I contemplate the story I want to leave behind when I'm gone... the more I'm finding that love is the one thing that continues to pull me out of the shadows of the night into the light of day. Not middle school love. But real, gut wrenching, everything on the table love. The kind of love that you'd give everything for.

We can build walls around our hearts to keep them safe... we can cling to our selfish desires, and call them our "needs"... but eventually our walls and desires leave us very much alone... and more needy than ever. Love is much more about what we give away, and much less about what we receive in return.

Here are the lyrics to a song on the new record called "Ace of Spades"... hope you enjoy.

Ace of Spades

Spent most of my days building walls around this place
Holding close to what I know, tryin' to keep my soul saved
Bought myself an alarm, bought myself a gun
Boarded up my windows, waged war against the sun

All I know is this prison's cold
I've spent too many days and nights alone
The world I see is closing in on me
Prayin' Lord have mercy on my soul

I'm never gonna find any peace of mind if I'm always right
I'm never gonna see right in front of me if I close my eyes
Love isn't played like the ace of spades you're holding close to your chest
It's no give and take, you just give it away and hope for the best
I'll hope for the best, I guess

I don't wanna waste my life, living in the shadows of the night
Time to rebuild these bridges and leave these prison cells behind
Build a house in the city, windows on all sides
Try and let the sun in, try and let the light be my guide

All I need is right in front of me
I've seen too much love to give up hope
I've been lost and found, cause you tracked me down
Oh Lord have mercy on my soul

I'm never gonna find any peace of mind if I'm always right
I'm never gonna see right in front of me if I close my eyes
Love isn't played like the ace of spades you're holding close to your chest
It's no give and take, you just give it away and hope for the best
I'll hope for the best, I guess...

But you never know if love's gonna show or if love's gonna win
But I'll see your bid, and I'll go all in... again and again and again...

 

Happy Labor Day Amigos!

- Justin

Comments

I love it! That imagery is beautiful and so true. You've got a gift brother...keep sharing it!!

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